November 5, 2015

Being Your “Darkness”

I just finished watching The Devil’s Advocate for the gazillionth time, and I found myself thinking about what many call “the shadow”. I got to thinking about how often humanity has condemned people who openly expressed (and loved) this side of themselves.

But what really is so bad about our darkness? Some of my best work was born of it. Hell! even I was born in the”dead of winter”… during the season where darkness reigns supreme.

Even the “good book” states that light was born out of darkness.

For years, I fought this “side” of my being. Too many times I would shove emotions down, doing my best not to feel or express them because I did not want anyone to think of me as bad, rotten, unclean.

Through this constant battle, I found myself fighting on the “Light Side” rallying against the darkness and condemning anyone who went there.

Back to The Devil’s Advocate

As I watched Keanu’s character, I also thought about all of things I have done in the name of money.

There was that once upon a time when I wrapped my toned 26-year old ass around a Las Vegas pole for about 6 weeks… because the money was easy.

There was that once upon a time when I wanted to exact revenge on all the people I felt had snubbed/shunned me over the years.  [Actually, these thoughts still surface from time to time… then I get to thinking about karma… and I shove them back into the abyss from whence they came.]

Back to Keanu (P.S. I love you {giggling})…

Apart from being immensely entertained (the movie is soooo damn good), I also received a delicious epiphany. I finally saw clearly the truth of much of my angst throughout the years. I saw how my lack of acceptance of my dark side… has led to countless moments/expressions of judgment, guilt, anger, and shame.

As I was allowing this epiphany to settle in for the ride to come, I came across the following blog.  It is my deepest intention that, as you read it, you finally accept your darkness, so you can be your complete Self.

I am finally embracing the Winter of my being… because the battle has simply tuckered me out.  I hope you do the same for yourself.

Where there is light, there is darkness… one cannot exist without the other.

P.S.  Here’s an excellent read that offers more insight into why your darkness matters.

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