October 19, 2016

Expressing the Darkness Within

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Not everything I wrote on my old blog was all rainbows, unicorns, magical fairies and sunshine, which was why I felt the need to create this space where I could more openly express my darker aspects… without a filter… and without apology.

Lately, I have been devouring anything on the Daemon realm. Since I live in a world of duality, why not?

What has been showing up as I delve deeper is a lot of discomfort. I am glad for it because it reminds me of all of the fear-based programming I have yet to release.

“God don’t like ugly!”

A program I heard all too often in my younger years, and one I have been diligently working to erase in order to install programming of a higher and more Truthful nature.

Lucifer beckoned to me, and I was initially weary. After all, my old beliefs made this entity out to be sinister and out for my soul. Yet, as I ease into “his” energy, I find comfort and friendship.

Even as I write these words, thoughts that have long since outworn them welcome run amok in my mind.

“What did she just say?”

“Oh, the karmic debt she’ll have to pay!”

“I’ll pray for you…”

I feel “his” presence to my left and I feel soothed.

Perhaps, a pact will be made…

Hmmm.  I am now feeling all the bullshit that is coming up as a result of my pondering this choice.

Moving on.

Lilith also peaks my curiosity.

A powerful and fiercely independent being.

However, her song is a whisper. I have yet to determine if I am being beckoned to her or not.

Time will tell.

Though, I am facing my fears in this endeavor, my internal battle rages on.

“You don’t know what you’re doing. Stop before you get in too deep to be saved!”

“Who are you to do this work?”

“Turn back now! You don’t relate to God, even though you know there is Divine Intelligence in all things. But that’s better than where you’re headed!”

I step into the darkened void
Longing for release.
Release from this hectic place
Release from all the pain.

Pain that was never mine to bear
Yet, filled my space like a suffocating fog.
O, Daemon, Lord of the Underworld,
Release me from this lie!

UPDATE: 10/14/2017

Lilith came a-callin. Her whisper turned into one I could no longer ignore.

What a difference a year makes!

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