January 22, 2009

Knowing When to Let Go

Folks who know me pretty well know that I’ve been “searching” for ways to be “at peace” with my yesterdays of days gone by as well as “searching” for ways that will alleviate my “need-to-know-what-is-yet-to-come” … right now.

I cannot tell you how many books or CDs or podcasts or web bookmarks I have that offer up the information I seek.

I also cannot tell you why I have been unable to connect with this information that is so readily available to me.

The other day, while hanging out at GoodReads.com, I came across a book that I had listed on my bookshelf as a “future read”.  It was written by a wonderful woman who I admire very much, Iyanla Vanzant.  The book was One Day My Soul Just Opened Up.

Every day, I send a “request” out to the universe, asking for direction in a particular area of my life, and I have to admit that I am not always quick to see or even hear the “response”.

Fortunately, I was able to see my quick visit on GR as my “sign” of what I needed to do… right now to get to where I want to be.

As I write this post, the book is sitting at my side, beckoning me to open its pages and release my past… and renew my spirit.

I am excited to see what this book offers.  It is tagged “40 days and 40 nights toward spiritual strength and personal growth“.  Intriguing, to say the least.

Perhaps, this poem will be the catalyst in helping me BE!

One Day My Soul Opened Up

One day, my soul opened up
and things started happenin’
things I can’t quite explain
I mean
I cried and cried like never before
I cried tears of ten thousand mothers
I couldn’t even feel anything because
I cried ’til I was numb.

One day, my soul just opened up
I felt this overwhelming pride
what I was proud of
only God knows!
Like the pride of a hundred thousand fathers
basking in the glory of their newborn sons
I was grinnin’ from ear to ear!

One day, my soul just opened up
I started laughing
and I laughed for what seemed like forever
wasn’t nothin’ particularly funny goin’ on
but I laughed anyhow
I laughed the joy of a million children playin’
in the mud
I laughed ’til my sides ached
Oh God! It felt so good!

One day, my soul just opened up
There were revelations, annihilations, and resolutions
feelings of doubt and betrayal, vengeance and forgiveness
memories of things I’d seen and done before
of places I’d been, although I didn’t know when
there were lives I’d lived
people I’d loved
battles I’d fought
victories I’d won
and wars I’d lost.

One day, my soul just opened up
and out poured all the things
I’d been hiding
and denying
and living through
that had just happened moments before.

One day, my soul just opened up
and I decided
I was good and ready!
I was good and ready
to surrender
my life
to God.

So, with my soul wide open,
I sat down
wrote Her a note
and told her so.

Gemmia L. Vanzant (daughter of Iyanla Vanzant)

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