It is interesting to see how deeply into The Void I have traveled since 2005 when I purchased my first altar supplies.
In those days, I felt lost; without a home, so I turned to The Craft. Yet, there was something about it that did not quite sit well with me. There was something missing.
Perhaps, it was the fact that I could not find others who looked like me indulging in these workings. Perhaps, it was something less superficial. Who knows.
What I do know is this… the past 9 years that I have spent playing more to the Right have left me feeling more empty and out of place.
At one point, I called myself a Lightworker, but that label did not fit.
It was too light. If that makes any sense.
The Darkness kept calling me, and I took those calls as a sign that something was wrong with me; some screw was either too loose or completely dislodged from the rest of the machinery.
I thought The Darkness was bad.
There are still several layers of old beliefs that need to be peeled away in order for me to step fully into The Void.
So much junk!
And not enough Truth.
The Bible does not fit, neither does The Goetia.
I read and read and read.
I contemplate for hours.
Something has to give.
The dam to my Truth has to break sooner versus later.
Something I have in short supply.
I will continue to do the work.