October 7, 2008

Thoughts become Actions!

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Adonya

Another week is upon us.

I guess I don’t dread Mondays like some.  I’m in a fortunate position where I don’t have to drag myself out of bed at some ungodly hour, only to rush off to participate in a twisted game of your-butt’s-mine-for-the-next-8-hours.

I get to stay home and hang out with my favorite person, my son.

I’m not writing this to be all in-your-face- or be all nanny-nanny boo-boo. I’m just writing to clear my head and find peace in my thoughts and actions.

Today is just another day where I’m healing with my guilt. Today is just another day where I get to tell myself that I didn’t do this to my son. Today is just another day, and I am grateful for it.

My first thought, as I listened to the rain, was how wonderful that sound. And the smell is so crisp and clean.

Unfortunately, my next thought wasn’t so crunchy.

I couldn’t help but think that I haven’t been doing all I can for my son. I haven’t been focusing on his needs as much as I should be. I haven’t been the best mom.

Wow! I am truly my worst critic.

Breathe, Adonya, breathe.

I know I’m a good mom, and I do the best I can. However, I could do more, and I will.

My intention, upon waking, was to do just that… do more for him. You’re probably wondering what that means exactly.

Well, today, I’m going to be mindful of my time with him. You notice I didn’t say more mindful.

{sigh} Let’s back up. You’re probably wondering, “what the heck is being mindful?”

Mindful parenting is about detaching yourself from what’s yet to come and focusing on what’s happening now… not just in your life but also in the lives of your children.

It’s not about being judgmental. It’s not about high expectations. It’s about seeing our children for who they are not who we want them to be.

It’s about being emotionally present. It’s about letting life unfold… naturally.

Like most parents, I get a bit wrapped up in everything else that’s going on outside my little world, and I lose track of the wonderful, beautiful things going on inside it.

I, sometimes, take advantage of the fact that my son is HFA (High Functioning Autistic), and he can do a lot of things.

Then the guilt sets in, because I know there are so many things he can’t do.

Hmmm, can’t is the wrong word, so let me rephrase my last statement. There are so many things he has yet to accomplish, and I know he needs me to guide him.

I am his beacon, yet, I sometimes wonder if I’m guiding him down a certain path simply because I don’t want him to fall like I did.

Or maybe I’m just another kooky mom who thinks too much.

I want the best for my son, and his prognosis is very good. I also know I need to be doing more for him.

So, what can I do today that will take him another step closer to recovery? Think, Adonya, think!

While I’m thinking about what I can do for my son, you’re probably wondering how you can be a mindful parent to your child(ren)?

Well, thoughts become actions… and actions speak louder than words.

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