November 26, 2008

With A Last Name Like Wong, It Was Bound to Happen!

{UPDATE: This post is meant to be humorous and not to be taken seriously when it comes to the jokes… which I’ve heard throughout the years.  Please do not comment if you can’t see the humor.  Thanks for visiting!  :D}

Being Blackinese or Blasian, I’ve heard all the jokes.

“Excuse me.  Do you have the time?”  Response: “Sorry.  My clock is Wong!”  hardy har

“Hey Adonya.  Is Sum Ting Wong?”  snicker snicker

“That’s not right.  It’s Wong!”  bustin’ at the seams

The list is endless and timeless.

So, it was only a matter of time before I did something so very… Wong. {Please.  Stop.  I’m dying’ from laughter over here.}

I saw an acupuncturist this morning.

The only thing that killed the oriental flavor was the practitioner was white… not Wong. {gasping… for… air.  Laughter. Uncontrollable. Now.}

For anyone who’s never tried acupuncture, I have to say that it was a bit weird at first.

I mean, I’ve had massages and other spa treatments, but this one was way different.  I was about to be stabbed with a bunch of tiny… needles!

Now, I’m not gun shy when it comes to needles.  Meaning I don’t faint at the mere thought of them.  I’m pretty solid.

But acupuncture had me a bit on edge.

And it didn’t help matters much when he told me to remove my shirt so he could work my back.  {Clear your minds, people!  Clear your minds!}

Anyhoo, he graciously turned away.  Being a spiritual man, I expected as much.

Anyhoo, the first prick was different. {Sorry.  No other way to word this one.}  It instantly made my back uber-sensitive to touch.

The pricks that followed were equally weird in sensation.

I will say that I didn’t appreciate the electric shock therapy I got when he was looking for the pressure points behind my knees.  ZOWWEE!  A nanosecond of discomfort is too much for me!  Thank you!

Well, once all the back needles were in place, I figured I was good until he stated he was going to warm them up.

Excuse me?

What the heck does THAT mean?!?!?!?

What it meant was he would place a medicinal herb (not that one) on the handles (not my love handles) and light them until they smoked.

The heat apparently helps raise my chi which was, according to him, in poor shape.

Back done.

Now he wanted me to roll over.

My first thought, “He’s kidding, right?” Then he said he was leaving the room, so I could dress.

Awwwwww. Phew.  {wink}

Now, for the front.

Had to unzip a bit so he could work his mojo on my female region.  After all, I am looking to get knocked up by hub sometime soon, and I’ll take any help I can get. {wink again}

Front done.

A lot has to be said for this centuries-old practice.  I thought the whole experience was wicked groovy.

My chi needs a lot help which is why I’m scheduling myself for more sessions

Ain’t nothin’ Wong with that! Right?  {get wink slap-happy}

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